Morning Y'all! I pray this post encourages you and gives God glory! Got suggested topics you want me to write about? Please comment below or email me at info@mocatoday.com.
When I decided to really get serious about walking with the Lord, one of the first topics I was really interested in learning more about was relationships. Specifically, I wanted to biblically understand how God defines relationships and what healthy relationships look like according to God and His perspective.
When God created us, He created us for relationship, and those relationships to be a blessing, and not for us to just survive them, but for them to thrive. ~Pastor Nathaniel Wall, Alpine Bible Church
That's when I learned there are at least four different types of love defined and illustrated in the Bible:
Storge love: Familial, parental love
Eros love: Erotic, romantic, sexual love
Phileo love: Brotherly, friendship love
Agape love: God's love. The Fruit of the Holy Spirit speaks to agape love or the perfect love that only God can give (Galatians 5:22). Since the source of agape love is God, we cannot express this love type apart from Him! Therefore, having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and making Him Lord over our lives is critically important.
And, at least five biblical principles about love:
Love is an action, not a feeling.
Love is sacrificial.
Love involves commitment.
Love is reciprocal.
Love does not delight in evil and wickedness.
Upon further Bible study, I also learned God indeed shares what healthy and toxic relationships look like. This was a game-changer for me, as I was in a tough season of painfully learning just how powerful and influential personal relationships are in our lives.
That is, our personal relationships (or "close circle") will either help, hinder, or block our abilities to:
Honor God with our thoughts and actions. (Deuteronomy 6:5, 1 Samuel 2:30, 1 Corinthians 10:31)
Receive wise counsel based on God's Word. (Proverbs 11:14, Psalm 1:1-6)
Mature in being Christ ambassadors within our public and private lives. (2 Corinthians 5:11-21)
Identify our God-given talents to serve others as faithful stewards of God's grace. (1 Peter 4:10)
Pursue and live out God's unique purposes (or calling) for our lives. (Psalm 57:2, Jeremiah 29:11)
A toxic relationship will leave one exhausted, frustrated, and, in some cases, depressed. Toxic relationships can affect business partnerships, sports teams, and, of course, families. Some disharmony in a relationship is normal; however, some people inject poison into every relationship, making healthy give-and-take impossible. Those are toxic people, and the Bible has some advice for us in dealing with them. ~Gotquestions.org
In a helpful article, Dr. David Deets, reviews Four Biblical Signs of Healthy Relationships:
Relationships are healthy when Christ is the focus. Far too often, in a church setting or in our own relationships as believers, we want people to see things from our perspective and, quite honestly, we want people to do things our way. In order to have a healthy relationship, we have to say, "What does Christ want?" Our unity will come as others ask that same question. It isn’t about me getting people to see things my way, it is about people being committed to what Christ wants and consequently, those who are pursuing Christ will be unified.
Relationships are healthy when the "one anothers" are fulfilled. We are to love, care for, encourage, edify, exhort, welcome, and be kind to one another.
Relationships are healthy when accounts are kept short. If someone has offended you, your obligation is to go to them and talk to them. You need to take care of that offense as quickly as possible. [Genuine repentance must exist here too.]
Relationships are healthy when humility is present. It is a certainty that any time there is a conflict or a breach in a relationship, pride is present on some level... Pride will keep us from having healthy relationships for pride will focus us on ourselves and it will keep us from focusing on Christ and others.
I pray you continue studying relationships in the Bible and take every relationship you have to the Lord in prayer. Confirm God has assigned each relationship to you and then seek God to give you the tools and favor to maintain healthy, growing relationships. Or, seek God for the courage, discernment, and skills to set proper boundaries and handle toxic relationships in love.
Additional Resources:
Remember, it's about progression not perfection! God loves you! With Him, you got this! Until next post, may God give you His peace and blessings!
~Natasha
Just a few reminders:
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Amen! Great point about handling those difficult relationships IN LOVE! <3